In a thought-provoking message that has sparked conversations across social media and the wider public, the Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Command, SP Josephine Adeh, ANIPR, has addressed the dangers of emotional abuse and the need for self-awareness in relationships.
Speaking from personal encounters at her office, SP Adeh recounted a recent visit from a young lady who had endured an abusive relationship. When asked why she stayed, the victim responded, *“He chased me for years before I agreed to date him.”*
The PPRO, in her reflection, challenged the widespread belief that prolonged pursuit equates to love. “Chasing is not the same as loving,” she stated. “Some men chase out of ego, competition, or the thrill of the pursuit—not necessarily because they value you for who you are. When the chase ends, the real character is revealed.”
SP Adeh emphasized that women must look beyond the effort someone puts into chasing them and focus more on the intentions and treatment they receive once in a relationship.
Highlighting broader concerns around emotional manipulation, she explained, “When someone consistently hurts others, disregards their feelings, or plays mind games, that’s not just a lack of conscience—it’s a sign of immaturity, selfishness, or emotional emptiness.”
Her message, directed especially at women, encouraged them not to equate performance with love. “Don’t settle for someone just because they chased you. Settle for someone who shows up with love, respect, and consistency—not performance,” she advised.
In a heartfelt closing, she urged women to guard their hearts and refuse to let someone else’s brokenness define their self-worth. *“My gender, make we shine our eyes,”* she wrote.
SP Josephine Adeh’s candid statement reflects the Nigerian Police’s commitment not only to law enforcement but also to the emotional and psychological safety of citizens. Her remarks come at a time when awareness of gender-based violence and emotional abuse is increasingly gaining momentum across the country.
The FCT Police Command continues to encourage victims of abuse to speak up and seek help, assuring them of a listening ear and necessary support.